Insanity: Locked Out – The Andrew Bailey

Summary

Imagine that you're a loyal Google fanboy. You've had an Android phone in your pocket for as long as you can remember, and buy a new one every 8 months (at least). You believe that other search engines don't work. You died a bit when Buzz and Reader were killed, but you bought the rationale behind it. If a video isn't on YouTube, you don't watch it. You stood in line overnight for Google Glass, Google Home, and every Nexus device. You faithfully attend most Google conferences and product launches, live Plussing them on your Chromebook (to the annoyance of your friends), followed by an in-depth Blogger post. When you see a non-Google advertisement, or someone not using Chrome, you retreat to your brightly colored safe space. When you heard that Google was building a neighborhood, you remembered where you were. Your life changed. It felt like you found the promised land, and were the 937th person that immediately signed up to live there. You've drank so much of the kool-aid, you're almost swimming in it, and now you want to live in a more physicalized bubble. Soon (a few years later), you move into the techno utopia (beta version) of your dreams. Sensors are embedded into every surface, to make sure things are "just right". Google's knowledge of you guarantees you will never see a non-Google or unrelevant ad again. You get served food that hits the spot every time. Since you work from home, shop from home, and all the "best" restaurants and venues are within walking distance, you don't need Maps anymore. Your cat eventually gets used to the self cleaning Nest litter box. Robotic trash cans sense that you're eating a candy bar while walking in the park, so one will open and follow you around like a puppy until you've finished your snack and given it a treat (the wrapper). You're living the best life possible! But one day, you come back to your apartment. It's locked, and won't accept your authentication method. Since your technocrat landlords despise plain old metal ke...