"Death and What Comes Next" by Terry Pratchett

Summary

The L-Space Web Death and What Comes NextA Discworld short story By Terry Pratchett Copyright © Terry Pratchett 2002 When Death met the philosopher, the philosopher said, rather excitedly: "At this point, you realise, I'm both dead and not dead." There was a sigh from Death. Oh dear, one of those, he thought. This is going to be about quantum again. He hated dealing with philosophers. They always tried to wriggle out of it. "You see," said the philosopher, while Death, motionless, watched the sands of his life drain through the hourglass, "everything is made of tiny particles, which have the strange property of being in many places at one time. But things made of tiny particles tend to stay in one place at one time, which does not seem right according to quantum theory. May I continue?" YES, BUT NOT INDEFINITELY, said Death, EVERYTHING IS TRANSIENT. He did not take his gaze away from the tumbling sand. "Well, then, if we agreed that there are an infinite number of universes, then the problem is solved! If there are an unlimited number of universes, this bed can be in millions of them, all at the same time!" DOES IT MOVE? "What? Death nodded at the bed. CAN YOU FEEL IT MOVING? he said. "No, because there are a million versions of me, too, And...here is the good bit ...in some of them I am not about to pass away! Anything is possible!" Death tapped the handle of his scythe as he considered this. AND YOUR POINT IS...? "Well, I'm not exactly dying, correct? You are no longer such a certainty." There was a sigh from Death. Space he thought. That was the trouble. It was never like this on worlds with everlastingly cloudy skies. But once humans saw all that space, their brains expanded to try and fill it up. "No answer, eh?" said the dying philosopher. "Feel a bit old-fashioned, do we?" THIS IS A CONUNDRUM CERTAINLY, said Death. Once they prayed, he thought. Mind you, he'd never been sure that prayer worked, either. He thought for a while. AND I SHALL ANSWER IT IN THIS MAN...