Anything can be a message queue if you use it wrongly enough (2023)

Summary

Anything can be a message queue if you use it wrongly enough Published on 2023-06-04, 5077 words, 19 minutes to read 1girl, green hair, green eyes, landscape, hoodie, backpack, space needle - Ligne Claire CadeyHi, readers! This post is satire. Don't treat it as something that is viable for production workloads. By reading this post you agree to never implement or use this accursed abomination. This article is released to the public for educational reasons. Please do not attempt to recreate any of the absurd acts referenced here. You may think that the world is in a state of relative peace. Things look like they are somewhat stable, but reality couldn't be farther from the truth. There is an enemy out there that transcends time, space, logic, reason, and lemon-scented moist towelettes. That enemy is a scourge of cloud costs that is likely the single reason why startups die from their cloud bills when they are so young. The enemy is Managed NAT Gateway. It is a service that lets you egress traffic from a VPC to the public internet at $0.07 per gigabyte. This is something that is probably literally free for them to run but ends up getting a huge chunk of their customer's cloud spend. Customers don't even look too deep into this because they just shrug it off as the cost of doing business. This one service has allowed companies like the duckbill group to make millions by showing companies how to not spend as much on the cloud. However, I think I can do one better. What if there was a better way for your own services? What if there was a way you could reduce that cost for your own services by up to 700%? What if you could bypass those pesky network egress costs yet still contact your machines over normal IP packets? AoiReally, if you are trying to avoid Managed NAT Gateway in production for egress-heavy workloads (such as webhooks that need to come from a common IP address), you should be using a Tailscale exit node with a public IPv4/IPv6 address attached to it. If you ...