Why Drinking Coffee in Iran Has Become So Complicated

Summary

Why Drinking Coffee in Iran Has Become So Ridiculously ComplicatedApril 16, 2025 It all started with a sarcastic jab in a chat: “You shouldn’t be more Catholic than the Pope. You go to order a coffee, and the guy’s like, ‘From Kenyan farms or Brazil?’ It’s like going to Italy for ghormeh sabzi, and they ask if you want the herbs from Bostanabad or Tuyserkan. Come on—just give us an espresso so we can move on with our lives :))” Funny, sure. But also painfully accurate. When did getting a coffee turn into a whole performance? A quick rewind Coffee in Iran isn’t new—we were drinking it long before tea took over. Back in the Safavid era, coffeehouses were where people gathered for stories, debates, and a hit of something strong. No one was talking about “floral notes” or “single-origin beans.” Then came the Qajars, tea took the spotlight, and coffee faded into the background. Fast forward to today, and coffee is back—but now it’s dressed like it’s trying to win an Oscar. These new cafés They’re not really about coffee anymore. They’re selling a lifestyle. Walk in, and the menu reads like a novel: “Ethiopian Yirgacheffe with hints of jasmine and citrus.” Give me a break. It’s not a drink—it’s a personality. You’re not there to enjoy a cup; you’re there to feel like you belong to some exclusive club. It’s all image. So, what’s the deal? Simple: it’s marketing. Cafés have found a way to segment customers like a product catalog. Some people just want a no-fuss coffee (good luck finding one). Others want “an experience,” like their morning brew needs a backstory worthy of a TED talk. And then there’s the Instagram crowd—more into photos than flavor. By slapping fancy names and origin stories on every cup, cafés turn a basic drink into a status symbol. It’s capitalism playing dress-up as culture. The irony? This whole coffee “culture” in Iran is barely out of diapers. In Italy, ordering an espresso takes five seconds. Here, it’s a whole show. Baristas throw around jargon to ...