Bash implementation of Tabloid, the clickbait programming language

Summary

A bash implementation1 of Tabloid, the clickbait programming language. $ ./runtabloid prog Program EXPERTS CLAIM a TO BE 10 EXPERTS CLAIM b TO BE 100 YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS a PLUS b PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE Output 110 $ time ./runtabloid fibo Program DISCOVER HOW TO fibonacci WITH n RUMOR HAS IT WHAT IF n SMALLER THAN 2 SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT n LIES! RUMOR HAS IT SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT fibonacci OF n MINUS 2 PLUS fibonacci OF n MINUS 1 END OF STORY END OF STORY YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Fibonacci number' YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS fibonacci OF 4 PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE Output Fibonacci number 3 real 0m27.589s user 0m22.252s sys 0m6.022s $ $ time ./runtabloid fibo2 Program DISCOVER HOW TO fibonacci WITH n RUMOR HAS IT WHAT IF n IS ACTUALLY 0 SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT 0 LIES! RUMOR HAS IT WHAT IF n IS ACTUALLY 1 SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT 1 LIES! SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT fibonacci OF n MINUS 2 PLUS fibonacci OF n MINUS 1 END OF STORY END OF STORY YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'Fibonacci number' YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS fibonacci OF 4 PLEASE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE Output Fibonacci number 3 real 0m56.749s user 0m46.434s sys 0m11.570s