You share a house with Einstein, Hawking and Tao

Summary

You're apartment hunting when a friend mentions a free room. Your skepticism evaporates the moment you hear the roommate's name: Albert Einstein.The lease practically signs itself.Day one, you hover by his door. "Professor Einstein?" He glances up from his papers "Albert, please. And yes, ask away."At first, you rapid fire your questions: What does E=mc² really mean? The nature of time? God and dice? Albert's chalk dances across his blackboard, equations blooming like flowers.But Tuesday's email deadline looms. "Albert, could you just... make this sound more professional?"By week two, it's all emails. Summaries. Cover letters. The blackboard gathers dust.Then comes the knock. Albert clears his throat, Hawking and Tao are visiting. Would $20 monthly be unreasonable?Twenty dollars. For Einstein, Hawking, AND Tao? You hand over your credit card before he changes his mind.The apartment transforms. Hawking's synthesizer harmonizes with Tao's rapid-fire proofs while Einstein's violin provides the soundtrack. You rotate between them like a kid in an intellectual candy store. Monday: quantum mechanics with Hawking. Tuesday: number theory with Tao. Wednesday: relativity with Einstein.Thursday: "Hey guys, can someone make this LinkedIn post sound less desperate?"The silence is deafening.Friday: "Format this spreadsheet?"Saturday: "Rewrite this Tinder bio?"Einstein calls a house meeting. Chalk dust settles as he mentions the new rent: $200. "The time, you see..." he begins gently."Two hundred?" you sputter. Then pause. MIT costs sixty grand a year. This is three geniuses for the price of a gym membership. "Actually, that's totally fair."Within hours, you're back with your most pressing research need: "Can you three analyze the optimal strategy for getting my neighbor to stop stealing my packages, incorporating game theory, quantum superposition, and relativistic time dilation? Also, make it rhyme."Tao's eye twitches. Hawking's synthesizer emits what might be a sigh. Einstein r...