A Song of “Full Self-Driving”: Elon Isn’t Tony Stark. He’s Michael Scott.

Summary

Hey fam: Supersized newsletter today. This Triad goes to four.It’s about Tesla and Elon Musk and autonomous vehicles. It gets fairly technical at times. But it’s really about how we’ve turned over large portions of America to insanely rich people who have no idea what they’re doing.It’s about oligarchy and technology. I hope you’ll take the ride with me—and share it if you are so inclined.P.S.: If this edition ends abruptly in your inbox, click the title to get to the full version on the site. Like I said—it’s a long one. Cybercab! (Composite / GettyImages / Shutterstock)For years, Elon Musk has been promising that Teslas will operate completely autonomously in “Full Self Driving” (FSD) mode. And when I say years, I mean years:December 2015: “We’re going to end up with complete autonomy, and I think we will have complete autonomy in approximately two years.”January 2016: “In ~2 years, summon should work anywhere connected by land & not blocked by borders, eg you’re in LA and the car is in NY.”June 2016: “I really would consider autonomous driving to be basically a solved problem. . . . I think we’re basically less than two years away from complete autonomy, complete—safer than a human. However regulators will take at least another year.”October 2016: By the end of 2017 Tesla will demonstrate a fully autonomous drive from “a home in L.A., to Times Square . . . without the need for a single touch, including the charging.”March 2018: “I think probably by end of next year [end of 2019] self-driving will encompass essentially all modes of driving”February 2019: “I think we will be feature complete—full self-driving—this year. Meaning the car will be able to find you in a parking lot, pick you up, take you all the way to your destination without an intervention, this year."I’m going to stop the litany here, but it continued. For a decade Tesla’s “Full Self Driving” has been a running joke. Every year, Musk says that FSD is months, or weeks away. Every year it slips over t...